I had an awesome Turkey day and I used it to load for round 3! Hubby decided to do a round with me. I am a couple days ahead of him because I didn't want to load again....after pigging out during our holiday. We were traveling so I ate like crap - but let myself.
I started round 3 VLCD on Monday at 162. This morning I am at 156.4 and I am remembering all of my tricks from before! Don't leave the house without an apple! Drink my lemon vanilla stevia water and green tea.
I am hoping my body will respond well to another round. I was off for 4 months. My last round I was down to just under 150. I had put back on about 8lbs....until load. I seem to stabilize around 158.
Of course I have not been running much since I went back to work. Things were really crazy and Lauren was not taking it well. She is starting to adjust now and not cry every day.
Hopefully I will have an awesome round 3 and get below my BMI overweight goal this time. I knew it would be tough for the holidays but I also knew I would be waayyyyyy up if I didn't start another round now instead of allowing myself to eat all the holiday food. It's almost easier for me to be on a strict diet and just know I can't have it!
I am back on Hucog injections of 250iu. I use mini mixing instructions and only inject 20ml. I'll keep you posted on our progress. Should be fun to watch Hubby - he started around 226.
Hope you are all doing well!
I started round 3 VLCD on Monday at 162. This morning I am at 156.4 and I am remembering all of my tricks from before! Don't leave the house without an apple! Drink my lemon vanilla stevia water and green tea.
I am hoping my body will respond well to another round. I was off for 4 months. My last round I was down to just under 150. I had put back on about 8lbs....until load. I seem to stabilize around 158.
Of course I have not been running much since I went back to work. Things were really crazy and Lauren was not taking it well. She is starting to adjust now and not cry every day.
Hopefully I will have an awesome round 3 and get below my BMI overweight goal this time. I knew it would be tough for the holidays but I also knew I would be waayyyyyy up if I didn't start another round now instead of allowing myself to eat all the holiday food. It's almost easier for me to be on a strict diet and just know I can't have it!
I am back on Hucog injections of 250iu. I use mini mixing instructions and only inject 20ml. I'll keep you posted on our progress. Should be fun to watch Hubby - he started around 226.
Hope you are all doing well!
So going back to work has been a rough transition. It has been about 6 weeks now. Six very loooooong weeks. Lauren took the adjustment hard and has reverted back to crying at school every day and hanging off me, clinging like velcro baby, every minute we are together. Lots of acting out and defiance. The whining!!!! ugh!
The stress has been overwhelming at times and I feel like it is just now starting to be more manageable. I am getting to work on time, after I peel Lauren off and run for the car then burn rubber down the freeway towards work. Some days we both cry.
I am really enjoying my job and pursuing my career again. I have had a great time getting to know the people in my office. The environment is warm and relaxed. The majority of what I do right now is data analysis for healthcare, project management and NCQA reporting. So I am basically a nerd and I love that!
My health has suffered through this transition. I have gained 5lbs back and I have trouble finding time or energy to work out. I wake up at 5:30am and crash into bed exhausted by 9pm. I usually fall asleep with Lauren because I'm whooped.
Anyway, I am looking forward to being fully adjusted and being able to focus a little more on my goals again. Hope you are all well and gearing up for the holidays!
The stress has been overwhelming at times and I feel like it is just now starting to be more manageable. I am getting to work on time, after I peel Lauren off and run for the car then burn rubber down the freeway towards work. Some days we both cry.
I am really enjoying my job and pursuing my career again. I have had a great time getting to know the people in my office. The environment is warm and relaxed. The majority of what I do right now is data analysis for healthcare, project management and NCQA reporting. So I am basically a nerd and I love that!
My health has suffered through this transition. I have gained 5lbs back and I have trouble finding time or energy to work out. I wake up at 5:30am and crash into bed exhausted by 9pm. I usually fall asleep with Lauren because I'm whooped.
Anyway, I am looking forward to being fully adjusted and being able to focus a little more on my goals again. Hope you are all well and gearing up for the holidays!
Yesterday we returned from our first trip to Vegas as parents. We left Lauren in very good hands but it was really hard.
I loved the hotel we stayed at - Vdara. Located in the new "City Center" complex. I highly recommend it. The room was awesome - views of the Bellagio fountains next door. The location was perfect, an oasis, in the middle of the strip. Aria next door had the casino, shops and restaurants.
We saw Zumanity and Peepshow. I loved both ADULT venues. I had read some critical reviews about Holly Madison's Peepshow. Seriously, let's face it! You pay because you get to see her boobs...she doesn't have to be a professional dancer or singer. Also I had heard Zumanity was overly obnoxious and I didn't see it that way. It was so much fun....the circus acts were awesome and it was very humorous.
Finally, after safety checks and command voices, I walk through the double sliding doors out onto the platform, the heat is a stifling 98 degrees. I was commanded to turn to the right and hold on to the railing so they can clip my harness on to the middle of my back - the view is amazing at sunset. I was petrified but knew it was too late....knuckles white!
I stood with toes hanging over the edge of the blue platform. Holding on to the rails at either side as I had been instructed. The harness was pushing me, I didn't like it. I had to squelch my automatic "flight or fight response". Neither option was appropriate. The attendant shouted "here comes your countdown....3...2....1"....and I jump!
I fling myself from the platform just to end the overwhelming anxiety and immediately gravity grabs me and drags me toward the earth with such force it knocks the wind out of me and I exhale loudly - "Huh!!!" leaving my breath behind. It is crushing and I closed my eyes for a split second - I was thinking - how bad it sucked! ......and then
The harness slows me down and all of a sudden swoosh, I am floating....flying....soaring, arms stretched out wide and it is awesome. I jumped at sunset so I had the most amazing night sky and I could see the Vegas lights and then zzzzzziiiip! Booom...I landed....and I thanked god it was over!!!!!
It was a great exercise in facing my fears and living my life to the fullest....but I was so happy to be done!
I loved the hotel we stayed at - Vdara. Located in the new "City Center" complex. I highly recommend it. The room was awesome - views of the Bellagio fountains next door. The location was perfect, an oasis, in the middle of the strip. Aria next door had the casino, shops and restaurants.
We saw Zumanity and Peepshow. I loved both ADULT venues. I had read some critical reviews about Holly Madison's Peepshow. Seriously, let's face it! You pay because you get to see her boobs...she doesn't have to be a professional dancer or singer. Also I had heard Zumanity was overly obnoxious and I didn't see it that way. It was so much fun....the circus acts were awesome and it was very humorous. I did my Skyjump at Stratosphere. You know, when you get to the 108th floor and you are looking down 855 ft I cannot explain how scared you are or how you have to mentally talk to yourself to keep yourself calm.
Waiting for your turn is excruciating! I waited with four men and called "ladies first" on the elevator to the top just so I could GO! Nobody argued. I was joking around with them as we gazed down and waited for the group before us to finish- just to lighten the mood. I said I was going to jump Iron Man style - "you complete me!"
I stood with toes hanging over the edge of the blue platform. Holding on to the rails at either side as I had been instructed. The harness was pushing me, I didn't like it. I had to squelch my automatic "flight or fight response". Neither option was appropriate. The attendant shouted "here comes your countdown....3...2....1"....and I jump!
I fling myself from the platform just to end the overwhelming anxiety and immediately gravity grabs me and drags me toward the earth with such force it knocks the wind out of me and I exhale loudly - "Huh!!!" leaving my breath behind. It is crushing and I closed my eyes for a split second - I was thinking - how bad it sucked! ......and then
It was a great exercise in facing my fears and living my life to the fullest....but I was so happy to be done!
One of the best experiences of my life! I did 10 weeks of training on an indoor treadmill listening to the 5K 101 podcast. As I trained I had a mini cheerleader to do stretches with and several times she stood in front of the treadmill yelling "go mama go". We often talked about my race and what to expect.
The 5K started at 7:30am and I had concerns that my husband would not have Lauren at the finish line. I really wanted her to share that experience with me. I decided to stay in a hotel downtown the night prior to the race. The hotel was just 5 blocks from the starting line. Perfect for a warm up walk!
We all had a blast on the club level the night prior to the race. We relaxed and had a glass of wine and dessert as Lauren terrorized the club lounge. Actually, I ate too much dessert and that was after the cheeseburger! I wondered if I would pay for that on race day.
Back at the room I set out all my clothes, and Lauren's too, in preparation for race day. It was raining monsoon style. Apparently I was going to get drenched! I was debating on what to race in...I purposely picked up some moisture wicking clothes, just in case. I decided to wear my Komen race T-shirt.
I tossed and turned all night. It was loud downtown and Chris was snoring. I forgot my ear plugs!!! Lauren kicked me in the head all night and Chris flopped around. Every time he did my side of the bed would catapult me up in the air a little...
I arose at 5:30 a.m. because I was tired of staring at the ceiling. The plan was for me to get ready and sneak out at 7:00am to start the race at 7:30am and then they would meet me at the finish line around 8:00am. I had been running on the treadmill and it was taking me 38 minutes to run 3.15 miles. So they should have sufficient time to get there.
Just as I finished getting ready I put my head phones in and listened to some music. I was standing in the bathroom and I backed up bam, right into Lauren. Uh-oh! I started explaining that I needed to go because it was race day...she started crying and freaking out, clinging to my legs. My husband was laying in bed still.
I had to go in and tell him to get out of bed. Then I started yelling, you know what??? Get up, get ready!! I will get Lauren ready. I need to fucking leave this room in 15 minutes. I want a cup of coffee. I need to warm up and stretch. I need to find the starting line. Hurry up!! His response, "what did I do?". (Exactly!) In a tirade I yelled, "just fucking hurry up!!!!!"
He moved at a snails pace....and there it was - the scene I was trying to avoid. The one I had experienced over and over again. Why? Why did it have to be this way?? I got Lauren ready. I went in the bathroom and he was standing in the steamy hot carrera marble foo foo shower, arms folded, twirling slowly back and forth as the warm water cascaded over him from the rain shower heed. "Fucking hurry up I need to leave in 5 min!!!!" I screamed!
After that, every couple of minutes I whipped out some additional f-bombery and delivered a count down. We didn't leave the room until 7:10 am. I was fuming. I was a wreck. I didn't get my coffee and since I walked with them to the starting line I didn't get to warm up either. In my head I was calling my husband every name in the book.
I found the starting line and relaxed a bit. I asked Lauren to stretch with me. I looked at my husband and said, "do you think you could take a picture of me - prior to the race?". He snapped a couple of pics before I went to the starting line. I lined up in the back of the pack at the "over 10:00 min mile sign".
Some people were running in pink wings and tu tu's. Funny how I was so worried about what to wear. The announcer called out - 1 minute til race time! I started my playlist and put in my ear phones. The race started, the crowd began jogging in place and then stopped. There were so many of us. It took nearly 2 minutes to reach the starting line and cross the chip timer. Boom, I was off!
I bobbed and weaved through the crowd and paced myself. It was uphill! I clung to the outside and avoided potholes and max line tracks. Eventually, I found a decent pace and reached flat ground. I already had a stitch in my side, was that the cheeseburger and desserts? I pushed on and told myself to buck up!
About that time I looked up and saw an on duty police officer I knew, standing at attention. I weaved over to the side and lined up for my high 5. We exchanged smiles and then, Smack! I pressed on.
I ran passed drag shows, dread locks, cheerleaders and many things that made me smile and gave me inspiration. Each moment created a new snapshot in my mind. My heart ached for the people wearing the "in memory of" banners and I kept telling myself I had nothing to complain about. Was it her mom she lost, her aunt?, I thought, she is so young.
As I ran and pushed and breathed and paced I re-played the past nine months in my mind. Last November I had a huge fight with my husband where I got in the car with Lauren and drove to my sister's house. I needed the separation. It was the turning point that motivated me to face reality and re-build myself.
I began setting goals and facing fears. I lost some additional weight with Hcg, went skiing again, planted my first organic garden, ran over the Golden Gate Bridge, got my braces put back on, enrolled Lauren in pre-school, found a job and now I was running my first 5K.
Next weekend we are taking our first adult trip (to Vegas) since Lauren was born. I will be jumping off the stratosphere hurling myself away from what was and towards the next chapter in my life. I am excited to be able to re-start my career. To re-gain the financial independence I had worked so hard for. I snapped back to reality.
As I ran I listened to my playlist so I knew how long I had been running. I had memorized the times and the order. My last two songs were Veronica's Untouched and then ACDC Thunderstruck. Songs I placed at the end knowing I would need the accelerated tempo to press on. I was getting really fatigued, I started praying, "Lord lift me up and carry me".
I turned a corner and ran under a bridge looking ahead. People pushing baby strollers were passing me! I could see the balloons from the starting line waaaaaay down the street. Oh crap, that is a long way still. Veronica's were on, would I finish within my goal of 38 minutes? You can do it, you can do it, I commanded! Push, Push!!! Lauren is there waiting for me. I picked up my pace.
Just then, I realized. The finish line was 5 blocks from the starting line. I saw a crowd coming up ahead. I started sprinting!!! I was frantically searching the crowd on both sides of the finish line for my girl's sweet little face, where is she?, where is she?, where is she??? I want to burn a memory of empowerment into her mind. I want her to know she can follow her dreams and achieve them with hard work and tenacity.
I am still on the Veronicas so I know I am a full song ahead of my goal. I have a chip timer on so I am more concerned about finding Lauren than my race time, I don't see her. I see a sign, "Survivors finish left", I shift to the right, catch a millisecond glimpse at the timer, 33:47, cross the finish line....finally there she is on the right. I scream yea!!! At her....and I'm done. I think, holy crap did that say 33????
The 5K started at 7:30am and I had concerns that my husband would not have Lauren at the finish line. I really wanted her to share that experience with me. I decided to stay in a hotel downtown the night prior to the race. The hotel was just 5 blocks from the starting line. Perfect for a warm up walk!
We all had a blast on the club level the night prior to the race. We relaxed and had a glass of wine and dessert as Lauren terrorized the club lounge. Actually, I ate too much dessert and that was after the cheeseburger! I wondered if I would pay for that on race day.
Back at the room I set out all my clothes, and Lauren's too, in preparation for race day. It was raining monsoon style. Apparently I was going to get drenched! I was debating on what to race in...I purposely picked up some moisture wicking clothes, just in case. I decided to wear my Komen race T-shirt.
I tossed and turned all night. It was loud downtown and Chris was snoring. I forgot my ear plugs!!! Lauren kicked me in the head all night and Chris flopped around. Every time he did my side of the bed would catapult me up in the air a little...
I arose at 5:30 a.m. because I was tired of staring at the ceiling. The plan was for me to get ready and sneak out at 7:00am to start the race at 7:30am and then they would meet me at the finish line around 8:00am. I had been running on the treadmill and it was taking me 38 minutes to run 3.15 miles. So they should have sufficient time to get there.
Just as I finished getting ready I put my head phones in and listened to some music. I was standing in the bathroom and I backed up bam, right into Lauren. Uh-oh! I started explaining that I needed to go because it was race day...she started crying and freaking out, clinging to my legs. My husband was laying in bed still.
I had to go in and tell him to get out of bed. Then I started yelling, you know what??? Get up, get ready!! I will get Lauren ready. I need to fucking leave this room in 15 minutes. I want a cup of coffee. I need to warm up and stretch. I need to find the starting line. Hurry up!! His response, "what did I do?". (Exactly!) In a tirade I yelled, "just fucking hurry up!!!!!"
He moved at a snails pace....and there it was - the scene I was trying to avoid. The one I had experienced over and over again. Why? Why did it have to be this way?? I got Lauren ready. I went in the bathroom and he was standing in the steamy hot carrera marble foo foo shower, arms folded, twirling slowly back and forth as the warm water cascaded over him from the rain shower heed. "Fucking hurry up I need to leave in 5 min!!!!" I screamed!
After that, every couple of minutes I whipped out some additional f-bombery and delivered a count down. We didn't leave the room until 7:10 am. I was fuming. I was a wreck. I didn't get my coffee and since I walked with them to the starting line I didn't get to warm up either. In my head I was calling my husband every name in the book. 
This was it. The weather cleared and it was perfect. I looked around at all the people from different walks of life - many with "in memory of" banners on their shirts- loved ones they had lost. I choked up and got very teary eyed remembering why I had chosen this particular race. Hard to feel sorry for yourself looking at that! I used it for inspiration the entire race.
Some people were running in pink wings and tu tu's. Funny how I was so worried about what to wear. The announcer called out - 1 minute til race time! I started my playlist and put in my ear phones. The race started, the crowd began jogging in place and then stopped. There were so many of us. It took nearly 2 minutes to reach the starting line and cross the chip timer. Boom, I was off!
I bobbed and weaved through the crowd and paced myself. It was uphill! I clung to the outside and avoided potholes and max line tracks. Eventually, I found a decent pace and reached flat ground. I already had a stitch in my side, was that the cheeseburger and desserts? I pushed on and told myself to buck up!
About that time I looked up and saw an on duty police officer I knew, standing at attention. I weaved over to the side and lined up for my high 5. We exchanged smiles and then, Smack! I pressed on.
I ran passed drag shows, dread locks, cheerleaders and many things that made me smile and gave me inspiration. Each moment created a new snapshot in my mind. My heart ached for the people wearing the "in memory of" banners and I kept telling myself I had nothing to complain about. Was it her mom she lost, her aunt?, I thought, she is so young.
As I ran and pushed and breathed and paced I re-played the past nine months in my mind. Last November I had a huge fight with my husband where I got in the car with Lauren and drove to my sister's house. I needed the separation. It was the turning point that motivated me to face reality and re-build myself.
I began setting goals and facing fears. I lost some additional weight with Hcg, went skiing again, planted my first organic garden, ran over the Golden Gate Bridge, got my braces put back on, enrolled Lauren in pre-school, found a job and now I was running my first 5K.
Next weekend we are taking our first adult trip (to Vegas) since Lauren was born. I will be jumping off the stratosphere hurling myself away from what was and towards the next chapter in my life. I am excited to be able to re-start my career. To re-gain the financial independence I had worked so hard for. I snapped back to reality.
As I ran I listened to my playlist so I knew how long I had been running. I had memorized the times and the order. My last two songs were Veronica's Untouched and then ACDC Thunderstruck. Songs I placed at the end knowing I would need the accelerated tempo to press on. I was getting really fatigued, I started praying, "Lord lift me up and carry me".
I turned a corner and ran under a bridge looking ahead. People pushing baby strollers were passing me! I could see the balloons from the starting line waaaaaay down the street. Oh crap, that is a long way still. Veronica's were on, would I finish within my goal of 38 minutes? You can do it, you can do it, I commanded! Push, Push!!! Lauren is there waiting for me. I picked up my pace.
Just then, I realized. The finish line was 5 blocks from the starting line. I saw a crowd coming up ahead. I started sprinting!!! I was frantically searching the crowd on both sides of the finish line for my girl's sweet little face, where is she?, where is she?, where is she??? I want to burn a memory of empowerment into her mind. I want her to know she can follow her dreams and achieve them with hard work and tenacity.
I am still on the Veronicas so I know I am a full song ahead of my goal. I have a chip timer on so I am more concerned about finding Lauren than my race time, I don't see her. I see a sign, "Survivors finish left", I shift to the right, catch a millisecond glimpse at the timer, 33:47, cross the finish line....finally there she is on the right. I scream yea!!! At her....and I'm done. I think, holy crap did that say 33????My net chip time was recorded as 32:16! No wonder I had a stitch in my side and I was so fatigued. That's 6 minutes faster than I was running at home. Maybe it was the cheeseburger?? :)
I started applying for jobs and interviewing a few weeks ago. Yesterday I was offered a job.
The position is dynamic and a lot of work and will entail project management, data analysis and reporting, presentations, training...etc. I am thrilled to have found something that I can sink my teeth into. I really didn't want to go back to an entry level position after working so hard in the past to take my career to another level- while I was also going to school.
In this economy and after being off work for three years - I am absolutely grateful! Bonus - the office is located about 5 miles from my house and I get to wear jeans unless required otherwise. I will be hitting the Macy's weekend sale to spend my first paycheck in advance!
I am looking forward to my 5K Sunday, Vegas trip the following weekend and starting work on the 29th. It will bring change to our family and our home. I already have Lauren placed at a private school where she knows her surroundings, teacher and friends. The transition was as smooth as can be expected. I hope the next phase goes as smoothly.
I AM SO ECSTATIC TO REGAIN MY FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!!!! WORDS CANNOT EXPLAIN....
The position is dynamic and a lot of work and will entail project management, data analysis and reporting, presentations, training...etc. I am thrilled to have found something that I can sink my teeth into. I really didn't want to go back to an entry level position after working so hard in the past to take my career to another level- while I was also going to school.
In this economy and after being off work for three years - I am absolutely grateful! Bonus - the office is located about 5 miles from my house and I get to wear jeans unless required otherwise. I will be hitting the Macy's weekend sale to spend my first paycheck in advance!
I am looking forward to my 5K Sunday, Vegas trip the following weekend and starting work on the 29th. It will bring change to our family and our home. I already have Lauren placed at a private school where she knows her surroundings, teacher and friends. The transition was as smooth as can be expected. I hope the next phase goes as smoothly.
I AM SO ECSTATIC TO REGAIN MY FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!!!! WORDS CANNOT EXPLAIN....
I signed up for the timed race! I've committed to pushing myself and facing fears this year so I just "did it". Of course, I am banking on the fact that there will probably be a lot of other people running their first 5k too. My plan is to stay to the back and sides of the pack and try not to piss anyone off or embarrass myself.
The race will be chip timed. I was excited to learn what "chip time" is because I really want to know my final race time so I can use that as a point of reference for future races. Apparently the chip is attached to my race number and a mat at the start and finish lines will record my time. This method of timing is more accurate because it doesn't measure time based upon when the gun or horn goes off but when you personally cross the mat.
I am in my final week of 5K 101 training and yesterday I ran the planned 30 minutes and then just kept going until I ran for 34 minutes - because I liked the song playing on my ipod.
I love music and using my ipod is so incredibly motivating! My favorite song to run to right now is The Veronica's "Untouched". I also love AC/DC "Thunderstruck", David Bowie "Modern Love", Boston "Foreplay/Long Time", U2 "Where the Streets Have No Name", Motley Crue "Girls, Girls, Girls". Yes I grew up in the 80's! Woo hoo....still love those hair bands!
The race will be chip timed. I was excited to learn what "chip time" is because I really want to know my final race time so I can use that as a point of reference for future races. Apparently the chip is attached to my race number and a mat at the start and finish lines will record my time. This method of timing is more accurate because it doesn't measure time based upon when the gun or horn goes off but when you personally cross the mat.
I am in my final week of 5K 101 training and yesterday I ran the planned 30 minutes and then just kept going until I ran for 34 minutes - because I liked the song playing on my ipod.
I love music and using my ipod is so incredibly motivating! My favorite song to run to right now is The Veronica's "Untouched". I also love AC/DC "Thunderstruck", David Bowie "Modern Love", Boston "Foreplay/Long Time", U2 "Where the Streets Have No Name", Motley Crue "Girls, Girls, Girls". Yes I grew up in the 80's! Woo hoo....still love those hair bands!
Ok, so I went to register for my first 5k and I didn't realise that I would have to choose between timed vs. untimed. Kinda conjured up images of me getting trampled, pissing people off who are serious racers and coming in dead last!!! Stupid fears again. I had originally envisioned starting at the back of the pack and just blending in with the rest of the slow pokes.
My training is going well, I am on my last day of week 7 of 5K 101 podcast. I warm up 5min, and then alternate running 12 min with walking for 3 min in between sets. So 3 sets of 12 and running for 36 minutes. At this point I am ready to do week 8 and run for 30 min straight. My race is 17 days away. So I know I can drag myself over the finish line....even if I have to gimp.
I would love any input on what to expect and for you guys to kick me in the arse and tell me to go for the timed race!!!! Ok....please commence arse kicking!
(Thanks for the love by the way, I missed u guys too!)
My training is going well, I am on my last day of week 7 of 5K 101 podcast. I warm up 5min, and then alternate running 12 min with walking for 3 min in between sets. So 3 sets of 12 and running for 36 minutes. At this point I am ready to do week 8 and run for 30 min straight. My race is 17 days away. So I know I can drag myself over the finish line....even if I have to gimp.
I would love any input on what to expect and for you guys to kick me in the arse and tell me to go for the timed race!!!! Ok....please commence arse kicking!
(Thanks for the love by the way, I missed u guys too!)
I am still here. It has been six weeks of summer fun and visiting with relatives. I have just started looking for a job. I am still running and am in week 7 on my 5k training with my first 5k on 9/19. I fell off my running schedule and paid dearly for it. Last time I ran I had a stitch in my side and had to cut it short. I'm hoping today will go better.
I stopped injections and completely fell off the wagon. I weighed 153 this morning. I have stabilized there and I am eating normally. I feel great and it has been so awesome to spend a summer looking good and not beating myself up mentally about how I look.
I stopped injections and completely fell off the wagon. I weighed 153 this morning. I have stabilized there and I am eating normally. I feel great and it has been so awesome to spend a summer looking good and not beating myself up mentally about how I look.
Anyway....here's how I look....OH LOOK IT'S MY FACE!!!!!!!
I am still here. I never made it to my 148.2 goal. I was so mentally tortured about it for a few days. I started having a rough time last week. On Monday I was yellow and my hair was shedding. I think I may have reached either immunity or a plateau.
I kept on going but I have been hungry and it has been hard not to eat more. I went back up to 150lbs one day. I have been down a bit the last two days. TOM is here now. I am taking a break from injections. I think after TOM I may try for another week to drop a bit more. If I can't I will just go into P3. Doing 5k training is tough in P2.
I just started week 4 of 5k training. Today was the first day it was challenging. The interval was: run for 4 min walk for 1 min - repeat 5 times. I had to push myself to get through it but I did it. I enjoy working out again!
Lauren started preschool on Monday and I was relieved and elated at how well she did. She did not cry when we left and seems to like her teacher. She asked to go back again. In the picture - she insisted on carrying her backpack all by herself with no help!!
Adjusting to the structure will be interesting. When we arrived all the children were seated quietly around a table eating breakfast. My husband leaned over to me and whispered "how do they get them to do that???"
We told Lauren we were going shopping to buy her a big chocolate chip cookie and she could stay and play with the kids and we would bring her cookie back. I looked up and there were about 10 kiddies looking at me with the "cookie???" face. You know the one with big round puppy eyes?? I thought, "Doh! rookie, don't say cookie in a room full of preschoolers!!!".
I went to the gym to workout with my husband when Lauren was at preschool. It felt wierd. We haven't worked out together since I was pregnant. I'm glad that we did though because it helped me deal with my anxiety. I almost cracked and cried once but I bucked up.....until I got back in the car anyway. :)
I kept on going but I have been hungry and it has been hard not to eat more. I went back up to 150lbs one day. I have been down a bit the last two days. TOM is here now. I am taking a break from injections. I think after TOM I may try for another week to drop a bit more. If I can't I will just go into P3. Doing 5k training is tough in P2.
I just started week 4 of 5k training. Today was the first day it was challenging. The interval was: run for 4 min walk for 1 min - repeat 5 times. I had to push myself to get through it but I did it. I enjoy working out again!
Adjusting to the structure will be interesting. When we arrived all the children were seated quietly around a table eating breakfast. My husband leaned over to me and whispered "how do they get them to do that???"
We told Lauren we were going shopping to buy her a big chocolate chip cookie and she could stay and play with the kids and we would bring her cookie back. I looked up and there were about 10 kiddies looking at me with the "cookie???" face. You know the one with big round puppy eyes?? I thought, "Doh! rookie, don't say cookie in a room full of preschoolers!!!".
I went to the gym to workout with my husband when Lauren was at preschool. It felt wierd. We haven't worked out together since I was pregnant. I'm glad that we did though because it helped me deal with my anxiety. I almost cracked and cried once but I bucked up.....until I got back in the car anyway. :)
Only .4 from my 50lbs and getting off BMI overweight scale....which kept me in check this past weekend. I was surprised a little because on the 4th through out the day I ate an egg scramble, veggie burger and potato salad, angel food cake with berries and a blended margarita. I thought I was in for it on weigh in yesterday but I didn't have a gain. (whew!)
Maybe it's from the 5k training??? I am almost done with week two and it is going really well. It is a little tougher if I can't manage to get on the treadmill until noon or so....like yesterday I was whooped because I couldn't get on the treadmill till 1pm by the time I ate I was so fatigued. I forgot to take my B vitamins too so when I was out running around looking at sports bras and shorts I was tanking. I went into the Whole Foods next to REI and bought a B vitamin drink.
I loved this pic of Lauren at the parade because she is holding a balloon, sucker and wearing Mardi Gras beads. On the night of the 4th she got in bed and just crashed but she wanted to wear her glow bracelets to bed - there was a bright illuminated glow coming from her blankets where she was laying.
Maybe it's from the 5k training??? I am almost done with week two and it is going really well. It is a little tougher if I can't manage to get on the treadmill until noon or so....like yesterday I was whooped because I couldn't get on the treadmill till 1pm by the time I ate I was so fatigued. I forgot to take my B vitamins too so when I was out running around looking at sports bras and shorts I was tanking. I went into the Whole Foods next to REI and bought a B vitamin drink.
We had a fun 4th and all my friends and family were so full of compliments which was awesome. I was standing in the kitchen yesterday and my husband looked at me and said - "you are really skinny". Like it just dawned on him since everyone else was talking about it the other day. I said "thanks, it's really nice to hear YOU say that".
I loved this pic of Lauren at the parade because she is holding a balloon, sucker and wearing Mardi Gras beads. On the night of the 4th she got in bed and just crashed but she wanted to wear her glow bracelets to bed - there was a bright illuminated glow coming from her blankets where she was laying.
A glimpse at the irony of this diet: This morning I got up hoping to weigh in in the 140's. I was thirsty when I arose and I grabbed the big glass of water on the night stand, glug, glug, glug.......Oh shit! I forgot to weigh in!
I spent 2 hours trying to pee out the glass of water. My coffee was in the kitchen calling me!! all lonely.....and sad. So I finally went to the bathroom 1 more time and pushed everything out of my bladder as hard as I could!!! I stripped down and hopped on the scale - (cue choir of angels - Laaaaaaaaa!!!) 149.6. Yippy Skippy!
I spent 2 hours trying to pee out the glass of water. My coffee was in the kitchen calling me!! all lonely.....and sad. So I finally went to the bathroom 1 more time and pushed everything out of my bladder as hard as I could!!! I stripped down and hopped on the scale - (cue choir of angels - Laaaaaaaaa!!!) 149.6. Yippy Skippy!
This morning I weighed in at 150.4 after having started my 5K training and seeing a weight spike for a few days. I was up to 152.4 yesterday. Maybe....just maybe.....I will get to see the 140's tomorrow. I am going to try to keep myself in check this weekend. I love the 4th of July!!!! Such a fun holiday.
5K training has been awesome. It feels so good to work out again. Today, when I was supposed to be resting I really wanted to get on the treadmill. I guess almost 50 lbs lost makes a huge difference....and I usually carry around a 35lb toddler, up and down the stairs, etc.
I had to go buy more new underwear again because they were getting so baggy - perma wedge! I am buying size 6 bottoms and medium tops now. So nice to go shopping and have things fit again. I still need to go through my closet and donate all my old clothes.
Hope you all have a great 4th!
5K training has been awesome. It feels so good to work out again. Today, when I was supposed to be resting I really wanted to get on the treadmill. I guess almost 50 lbs lost makes a huge difference....and I usually carry around a 35lb toddler, up and down the stairs, etc.
I had to go buy more new underwear again because they were getting so baggy - perma wedge! I am buying size 6 bottoms and medium tops now. So nice to go shopping and have things fit again. I still need to go through my closet and donate all my old clothes.
Hope you all have a great 4th!
I was on the cusp of breaking into the 140's and then....a few things happened. I went out to a family dinner and indulged a smidge. I ate a few bites of my husband's pizza and had a glass of wine. I only gained .6 from that but now I'm ovulating and......
I finally started the Couch to 5k program. It is not recommended that you begin an exercise regimen in P2 - I know that! However, there is something more important to me than doing what I'm told right now - that is doing what I want! The Susan G. Komen in September.
For the last several years I have watched it sail by as I sat on the sidelines wishing I was in better shape and able to run a 5k. No more lusting after 5k's. No more beating myself up. This year I will just do it! I have to start training.
So yesterday I put on my fancy running shoes I bought a couple months ago and I blew the dust off the treadmill. I had my own princess cheerleader (fully adorned in purple satin dress and pink sparkling crown) who stood by exclaiming, "you are doing it mommy, good job". Of course her cheers turned to "get off there mommy, stop it" after a while.....but I had my new boyfriend (ipod) on so I just pointed to my earphones and yelled "I can't hear you sweetie" really loud. I kept going....and yelling and playing dumb.
I was following one of the Couch to 5k programs. The one I was looking at started with a 5 min walk, then 2 min jog, 5 min walk. but I decided to start by pushing a little to run for 3 min instead of 2. After 3 min I kinda expected the ol' stitch in the side and to eventually collapse, fall on the treadmill and ziiiipppppp bamm! Hit the wall.
After a warm up and moderate jogging for 3 min I thought....coool I'm doing it......4 min....seriously!.......5 min.......wtf???.......6 min.....huh?.....7 min.....maybe I should stop?? So I did. I wasn't uncomfortable, I just knew the program did a little interval switch up at 6 min so I thought maybe I should stop there. I didn't want to over do it. I did my 5 min cool down along with some light upper body strength training with my 5lb dumbbells.
This morning I was rewarded with a +1.8lb on the scale. I expected it. As always, this diet is mind over matter or psychology over flabalanche and the best advice I can give is this.....SHAKE IT OFF, CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE AND KEEEP GOING!! I will stay on P2 until the end of July even though I am training now.
Speaking of going. Another motivating factor for me is that the weekend after Susan G. we are going to Vegas for our anniversary. I want to be toned and fit. I also decided that (along the lines of pushing myself and facing fears this year) I am going to do the Sky Jump off the Stratosphere!
I finally started the Couch to 5k program. It is not recommended that you begin an exercise regimen in P2 - I know that! However, there is something more important to me than doing what I'm told right now - that is doing what I want! The Susan G. Komen in September.
For the last several years I have watched it sail by as I sat on the sidelines wishing I was in better shape and able to run a 5k. No more lusting after 5k's. No more beating myself up. This year I will just do it! I have to start training.
So yesterday I put on my fancy running shoes I bought a couple months ago and I blew the dust off the treadmill. I had my own princess cheerleader (fully adorned in purple satin dress and pink sparkling crown) who stood by exclaiming, "you are doing it mommy, good job". Of course her cheers turned to "get off there mommy, stop it" after a while.....but I had my new boyfriend (ipod) on so I just pointed to my earphones and yelled "I can't hear you sweetie" really loud. I kept going....and yelling and playing dumb.
I was following one of the Couch to 5k programs. The one I was looking at started with a 5 min walk, then 2 min jog, 5 min walk. but I decided to start by pushing a little to run for 3 min instead of 2. After 3 min I kinda expected the ol' stitch in the side and to eventually collapse, fall on the treadmill and ziiiipppppp bamm! Hit the wall.
After a warm up and moderate jogging for 3 min I thought....coool I'm doing it......4 min....seriously!.......5 min.......wtf???.......6 min.....huh?.....7 min.....maybe I should stop?? So I did. I wasn't uncomfortable, I just knew the program did a little interval switch up at 6 min so I thought maybe I should stop there. I didn't want to over do it. I did my 5 min cool down along with some light upper body strength training with my 5lb dumbbells.
This morning I was rewarded with a +1.8lb on the scale. I expected it. As always, this diet is mind over matter or psychology over flabalanche and the best advice I can give is this.....SHAKE IT OFF, CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE AND KEEEP GOING!! I will stay on P2 until the end of July even though I am training now.
Speaking of going. Another motivating factor for me is that the weekend after Susan G. we are going to Vegas for our anniversary. I want to be toned and fit. I also decided that (along the lines of pushing myself and facing fears this year) I am going to do the Sky Jump off the Stratosphere!
Stinkin' scale just couldn't give me that extra ounce this am! I'm getting ready for the 140's, only 1.8lbs from my 50lb total loss and coming up on ovulation so I hope I get there soon!
I was having a blast in the back yard today with Lauren. I got the kiddy pool out and umbrellas, sunhat, magazine, music, etc. We had fun. I wanted to make a margarita martini sooooo bad. I make it with my 3, 2, 1 recipe: 3oz of white Tequila, 2oz of cheap Cointreau and the juice of 1 lime, with a dash of agave but I'm thinking about trying it with stevia. I salt only 1/2 of the rim of my martini glass. Kick ass! (That's five shots if you're counting) Just talked myself into one I think :)
I hope you are all enjoying your summer!
I was having a blast in the back yard today with Lauren. I got the kiddy pool out and umbrellas, sunhat, magazine, music, etc. We had fun. I wanted to make a margarita martini sooooo bad. I make it with my 3, 2, 1 recipe: 3oz of white Tequila, 2oz of cheap Cointreau and the juice of 1 lime, with a dash of agave but I'm thinking about trying it with stevia. I salt only 1/2 of the rim of my martini glass. Kick ass! (That's five shots if you're counting) Just talked myself into one I think :)
I hope you are all enjoying your summer!
I have had a busy week but wanted to do a quick update. I started on Hucog again last Saturday. I had taken 5 days off after 20 inj of Ovidac and then TOM. I did sneak in a couple of no no's before starting again - but I didn't load. I had couple of cheater meals- sushi and Thai food. I'm not sure how I should label my days now??
I started at 155.8 and this morning I was at 151. So I lost inches with Ovidac and as soon as I started Hucog again my weight went down about 4 lbs in a week. I'm still focused with a vengeance on 148 which will put me at a total of 50 lbs lost and will kick that BMI "overweight" label square in the arse.
Having these milestones in mind is keeping me on track. Especially when my husband took us to a "Five Guys" burgers last week. I didn't order anything I just compulsively crunched on my chopped "apples a la ziploc" while I walked through the line. I tasted two bites of his and it was really good. Mean!!!
I noticed for the second time that taking Lauren swimming makes me stall for a day. Not sure if it is the chlorine or just water retention. Anyway, we have been having some summer fun with cousins and neighbors- finally the weather is warmer. We also have our plastic pool out back and we have been doing a lot of chalk drawing and bubbles.....I know- soooo exciting.
I started at 155.8 and this morning I was at 151. So I lost inches with Ovidac and as soon as I started Hucog again my weight went down about 4 lbs in a week. I'm still focused with a vengeance on 148 which will put me at a total of 50 lbs lost and will kick that BMI "overweight" label square in the arse.
Having these milestones in mind is keeping me on track. Especially when my husband took us to a "Five Guys" burgers last week. I didn't order anything I just compulsively crunched on my chopped "apples a la ziploc" while I walked through the line. I tasted two bites of his and it was really good. Mean!!!
I noticed for the second time that taking Lauren swimming makes me stall for a day. Not sure if it is the chlorine or just water retention. Anyway, we have been having some summer fun with cousins and neighbors- finally the weather is warmer. We also have our plastic pool out back and we have been doing a lot of chalk drawing and bubbles.....I know- soooo exciting.
I have lost the past three days.....I stopped my injections the past three days??? Weird that the last couple lbs I dropped were the days that I skipped. Funny thing is TOM is finally here today and I don't usually lose then. I will go at least three more skip days and then hopefully my Hucog will be here.
I guess this is a planned interruption and according to Simeons I can go for up to 14 days on a planned interruption by consuming 800 calories a day (adding protein: meat, eggs, cheese and milk, after 3 days of skipping injections). No dairy for me though. Correct me if I'm wrong on the interruption!
I feel great and I'm not tired or fatigued. If I need to I will up my protein a little. I'm looking forward to seeing if the interruption and Hucog will make me lose again so I am being careful not to cheat because I don't want to recover from a cheat right now. Besides, my new skinny jeans are getting baggy! I am 5 lbs from a 50 lb total loss! I am 5 lbs from getting off the BMI overweight scale! Can't wait.
Hope you are all having a great day!
I guess this is a planned interruption and according to Simeons I can go for up to 14 days on a planned interruption by consuming 800 calories a day (adding protein: meat, eggs, cheese and milk, after 3 days of skipping injections). No dairy for me though. Correct me if I'm wrong on the interruption!
I feel great and I'm not tired or fatigued. If I need to I will up my protein a little. I'm looking forward to seeing if the interruption and Hucog will make me lose again so I am being careful not to cheat because I don't want to recover from a cheat right now. Besides, my new skinny jeans are getting baggy! I am 5 lbs from a 50 lb total loss! I am 5 lbs from getting off the BMI overweight scale! Can't wait.
Hope you are all having a great day!
I knew you guys would read this if I mentioned balls in the tag line! Naughty! Naughty!
Seriously, my mouth and teeth have been so raw and sore this last week. Thank goodness for the wax that they give you to roll up and put on your braces. My mouth has finally mostly recovered. Although, I have to learn to eat again.
Protocol is tough with braces. I have been trying to make soups and I ended up trying to eat scrambled eggs and tofu just to get some protein. I had the shakes so bad by the third day. I ended up making a really yummy cucumber, cilantro, garlic and lime soup.
I went to the store the other day and I was famished by the time I got in the car to drive home. I love pink lady apples and I eat them almost every day. (You cannot eat apples without cutting them up when you have braces.) I had to laugh at myself when I tried to eat the apple while driving home. I kept gnawing and gnawing but I couldn't get a bite off. It was like a beaver gnawing on a steel pipe!
I put the apple in the fruit bowl when I got home. My husband picked it up and said, "what the hell happened to this apple?" I looked at it perplexed and said "I dunno, looks like a beaver got ahold of it!".
My weight is not dropping off this round. As a matter of fact I am still hovering between 155 and 154. The weight I ended at on round one. I am trying to stay on protocol and not blow it because I don't want to have to work off the 6 lbs I have lost - again.
Since this protocol is call Pounds & Inches I took my measurements yesterday. I found out that even though I am at the same weight I have lost almost 5 combined inches off my arms, legs, hips, waist and chest. A little encouragement I needed.
This round I tried Ovidac and last round I used Hucog. This morning I ordered some more Hucog to see if that is the difference. Always thinking and wondering why things work the way they do on this diet. I am taking a couple days off from injections because TOM will be here soon anyway. I'm hoping Hucog will show up in time to start injections again. Maybe the second vial of Ovidac will be good for re-shaping.
Hope you are all well!
Seriously, my mouth and teeth have been so raw and sore this last week. Thank goodness for the wax that they give you to roll up and put on your braces. My mouth has finally mostly recovered. Although, I have to learn to eat again.
Protocol is tough with braces. I have been trying to make soups and I ended up trying to eat scrambled eggs and tofu just to get some protein. I had the shakes so bad by the third day. I ended up making a really yummy cucumber, cilantro, garlic and lime soup.
I went to the store the other day and I was famished by the time I got in the car to drive home. I love pink lady apples and I eat them almost every day. (You cannot eat apples without cutting them up when you have braces.) I had to laugh at myself when I tried to eat the apple while driving home. I kept gnawing and gnawing but I couldn't get a bite off. It was like a beaver gnawing on a steel pipe!
I put the apple in the fruit bowl when I got home. My husband picked it up and said, "what the hell happened to this apple?" I looked at it perplexed and said "I dunno, looks like a beaver got ahold of it!".
My weight is not dropping off this round. As a matter of fact I am still hovering between 155 and 154. The weight I ended at on round one. I am trying to stay on protocol and not blow it because I don't want to have to work off the 6 lbs I have lost - again.
Since this protocol is call Pounds & Inches I took my measurements yesterday. I found out that even though I am at the same weight I have lost almost 5 combined inches off my arms, legs, hips, waist and chest. A little encouragement I needed.
This round I tried Ovidac and last round I used Hucog. This morning I ordered some more Hucog to see if that is the difference. Always thinking and wondering why things work the way they do on this diet. I am taking a couple days off from injections because TOM will be here soon anyway. I'm hoping Hucog will show up in time to start injections again. Maybe the second vial of Ovidac will be good for re-shaping.
Hope you are all well!
I am still on protocol and hanging in there. Losses have been slow since I cheated right away. After recovering from the cheat I stalled due to ovulation. As soon as I was over that I went to the orthodontist.
I had started on invisalign braces a few years ago but once I was pregnant I fell off the wagon. I beat myself up about it almost every day. Just like a diet, I kept telling myself "I will start on Monday". After I had the baby I kept trying to start over but never stuck with it. I was so exhausted and so overwhelmed I didn't have the self discipline to stick with it.
Fast forward 2.5 years and in consultation the orthodontist informed me that they disposed of my invisalign trays. It would cost $1500 to replace them or $800 to get regular braces. (They had already been paid $6500) I had a very emotionally loaded decision to make.
This issue was on a list of issues my husband authored back in December - reasons why he was so angry at me. I have been focusing on myself (avoiding falling into a co-dependent abyss) and stuffing my emotions towards him since then because I didn't want to "fix" him and he didn't want to own his own crap.
In January we discussed and agreed that we would go to counseling (counselor of his choice and he would go in first since he was so incredibly angry). He has been dragging his feet and has only gone twice since January. I have been to one appt. I think over time his anger has subsided but we are left with resentments and unresolved issues.
Anyhoo, things really came to a head this week due to the impending orthodontist decision. I told him it was difficult for me because I was so offended that he was basically complaining about my "face". Once I got started I didn't stop, I just took the last six months of emotions and let him have it. Not in an out of control way but in a "this is where we are at" way and confronted him about dragging his feet on counseling and not owning his own shit. He said he wasn't even sure he wanted to go....I spun on my heel and left heading towards the orthodontist. I just didn't care to respond.
I chose braces. Shorter treatment plan of a year and I know this time I won't be able to fall off the wagon. I'm not thrilled about it but it was the best decision for me at the time. Braces are important to me and on a list of goals that I had for myself. I am happy to be back on track so I don't have to beat myself up over it anymore. I feel a sense of relief about it, and about letting my husband know where I am at emotionally and in our relationship.
That night, on a family shopping trip to the grocery store, they were playing in the reading glasses section. I picked out the most atrocious pair of black horn rimmed glasses I could find, flashed my husband an Ugly Betty style smile, and said "do I make you horny baby?". His face read a combination of shock and utter disbelief. I laughed hysterically and thought to myself "fine - no fellatio for a year!"
I was very careful not to turn to food to soothe my negative emotions this week. I spent a lot of time on the phone with my girlfriends (who think I look adorable in braces). I finally broke into new territory today and lost a new pound! Yea :(#)
I had started on invisalign braces a few years ago but once I was pregnant I fell off the wagon. I beat myself up about it almost every day. Just like a diet, I kept telling myself "I will start on Monday". After I had the baby I kept trying to start over but never stuck with it. I was so exhausted and so overwhelmed I didn't have the self discipline to stick with it.
Fast forward 2.5 years and in consultation the orthodontist informed me that they disposed of my invisalign trays. It would cost $1500 to replace them or $800 to get regular braces. (They had already been paid $6500) I had a very emotionally loaded decision to make.
This issue was on a list of issues my husband authored back in December - reasons why he was so angry at me. I have been focusing on myself (avoiding falling into a co-dependent abyss) and stuffing my emotions towards him since then because I didn't want to "fix" him and he didn't want to own his own crap.
In January we discussed and agreed that we would go to counseling (counselor of his choice and he would go in first since he was so incredibly angry). He has been dragging his feet and has only gone twice since January. I have been to one appt. I think over time his anger has subsided but we are left with resentments and unresolved issues.
Anyhoo, things really came to a head this week due to the impending orthodontist decision. I told him it was difficult for me because I was so offended that he was basically complaining about my "face". Once I got started I didn't stop, I just took the last six months of emotions and let him have it. Not in an out of control way but in a "this is where we are at" way and confronted him about dragging his feet on counseling and not owning his own shit. He said he wasn't even sure he wanted to go....I spun on my heel and left heading towards the orthodontist. I just didn't care to respond.
I chose braces. Shorter treatment plan of a year and I know this time I won't be able to fall off the wagon. I'm not thrilled about it but it was the best decision for me at the time. Braces are important to me and on a list of goals that I had for myself. I am happy to be back on track so I don't have to beat myself up over it anymore. I feel a sense of relief about it, and about letting my husband know where I am at emotionally and in our relationship.
That night, on a family shopping trip to the grocery store, they were playing in the reading glasses section. I picked out the most atrocious pair of black horn rimmed glasses I could find, flashed my husband an Ugly Betty style smile, and said "do I make you horny baby?". His face read a combination of shock and utter disbelief. I laughed hysterically and thought to myself "fine - no fellatio for a year!"
I was very careful not to turn to food to soothe my negative emotions this week. I spent a lot of time on the phone with my girlfriends (who think I look adorable in braces). I finally broke into new territory today and lost a new pound! Yea :(#)
I wanted to do a candid summary of what I learned in round 1 of the HCG protocol. I have attached some before and after pics. The first pic was about when I was at my heaviest at 198.2 when I started weight watchers. I was at 181 when I began my first round of HCG. The second pic I am at 157 after my first round.
This is what I learned about HCG and about my body, behaviors, etc. You may have different "self" observations. I am not attempting to provide instruction - only to state my own observations.
Food prep - in order to have food readily available and keep myself on track I measured protein portions in batches and made ziploc bags for the freezer. I often cooked several meat portions on the foreman and left them in the fridge. The foreman is a life saver!Emotions - daily weigh in triggers a roller coaster of emotions. If you lose you are happy and if you don't you are crabby. On injection skip day I was crabby. The first major upset I faced forced me to learn about emotional eating and I did some research on brain chemistry: dopamine, tryptophan, endorphins and seratonin, in regards to emotional eating. "Self medicating" through eating.
Negative emotions - If I had negative emotions I learned to recognize them and to be aware that they were a trigger. If I cheated I learned to forgive myself, brush it aside and move on. You will completely derail yourself if you don't learn to do this. Negative emotions can trap you in a circular behavior of eating to medicate yourself thus causing more negative emotions that you will eat to medicate....etc.
(I had to work really hard on fighting negative emotions. Things that worked for me: I fell in love with music again and blew the dust off my iPod and loaded it with my favorite songs. I got a pedicure, called my friends and blogged. I spent a lot of time researching and reading about things I am interested in. I took hot Epsom salt baths and/or had a small glass of wine. I focused on goals and planning fun things I haven't enjoyed in a while. I tried to force negative thoughts out of my head by focusing on positive things. Even if I had to start over again every day!)
Stalling - I tracked my weight loss on a paper calendar (I tacked to the wall above my scale) and therefore I made the observation that I stall during ovulation and TOM. An apple day only made me suffer during these times and I learned to wait it out. Brain chemistry again, I read that your pituitary gland releases the "luteinizing hormone" which stimulates the ovary to release estradiol, progesterone, and androgens in a cyclical manner during ovulation. So I'm not surprised that my body won't release fat at that time. It's busy.
To lose more - I made sure to note the days of the month during my cycle that I would lose more and I try not to cheat on those days. A couple times I ate 2 egg whites and 1 egg with spinach to break a stall - better than an apple day. I hated the apple day I did. I lose more on days I eat raw veggies with my protein, as opposed to cooking my veggies. Believe it or not I lose more when I eat beef. Of course fluids help you lose more so lemon water with vanilla stevia helped me drink more fluids. Teas are awesome and besides, green tea I also drank chocolate Yerba Mate with vanilla stevia and occasionally roasted dandelion (diuretic - read about it before drinking).
Side effects - I had some hair loss. I felt a dull ache in my sides on the days I was losing. I got headaches and crabby on skip days. I had occasional bruising from the injections. I started taking liquid B vitamins for more energy.
Mixing - after my first few starving and fatigued days at 200iu injections I bumped my dosage to 225iu and then finally 250iu. Again, I do not instruct you to do this - figure it out on your own. This dosage is what my body responded to. It is the maximum suggested. On the second mixing I followed "mini" mixing instructions and diluted with less Bact water. This made the amount I had to inject much smaller. I inject into my belly fat by pinching my skin tightly between my thumb and index finger and then inserting the needle slowly - pinching makes it hurt less. Mind over matter!
Phase 3 - phase 3 was a snap as soon as I learned it was all about the protein. After the first week of phase 3 I started eating 6 meals a day but with a lot more protein. I stuck with lean protein and I didn't go for the bacon. I added tofu, berries, kale, brussels sprouts, etc. back in. I liked the roasted chicken day for correction. Roast and pick at an entire chicken for the day (less crabby).
Phase 4 - was a flop for me and I will have to learn more next time. At the end of phase 3 the dairy really started to get to me. In phase 4 I ate frozen yogurt and mac and cheese and it really started a downslide for me. I didn't correct right away and ended up stabilizing at 3 lbs over LIW. My allergies returned and my face broke out. I really looked forward to round 2 because of this. I will add foods back more slowly in my next phase 4.
This round I need to track calories more closely. I didn't track my 500 calories as much as I just tracked protein = 100g. I need to focus more on physical fitness and continue to monitor negative emotions. I am going to experiment more with recipes. I am going to conquer phase 4!
I lost 41 lbs and went from size 16 to size 8 over the last year. Best of all I feel like I got back in touch with who I am and I feel passionate about my life again. I really treasure my life experiences, the good, bad and ugly.
So an update and a mishap....
I went out on a date with my husband Friday night to an 80's VJ night. We got a really nice room so we didn't have to worry about driving. The next day we had a wonderful breakfast and went to see Iron Man II before picking Lauren up.
It was such a blast. I hadn't danced like that in so long. All the music was 80's dance music and everyone knew and sang all the words. It is so funny how you can just dance in a group of total strangers and everyone will smile and laugh and no one cares that you don't know each other.
My husband kept getting too hot and walking off to go cool down but I didn't want to stop dancing because it is such a rare opportunity for us to get out. I kept sneaking back out by myself. At one point he got pissed and I just told him - "look, you only live once and I don't get out that often so I am going to make the most of it and I don't give a shit if you are hot. I will just go dance until you come back." It worked out fine that way. I never would have done that when I was younger.
I did blow my diet but I didn't care. I'm back on track.
An Unfortunate Event: apparently my mom saw my blog. In her opinion it was intentional. She doesn't understand how the URL address bar and cookies works. She thought I left it on her computer to purposely hurt her. My sister, brother, father and niece all explained how the address just stays there after you have been on the website- she didn't listen and didn't care. She was going to grill my niece about it so I called her to own it. It is my blog and I didn't want her grilling my niece. I managed to block my blog before she read all the posts. She only saw the last couple.
On the phone she just screamed a long hysterical tirade of mean nasty words, I caught "you finagling little bitch, how dare you come to my house and leave that up on my computer, I'm done with you, don't you ever come over here again", blah, blah. Apparently she had been obsessing about the clean up of hoarding downstairs also and I was told that she blamed it on me and thought I was the one who planned it. So the blog didn't help nor did the fact that we booked a vacation rental for when my sister comes to visit without consulting her. The sad thing is we were going to take her on a mother daughter spa day when we were there.
So I have been mulling over the years of verbal, mental and physical abuse from her. I realise I am just done. After your entire family has an intervention with you and asks you to get help - and you won't - there isn't much left. (Going to counseling for a few appointments and not owning your own crap doesn't count. )
There is a limit. I just reached mine. It's funny her counselor said the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. I understand what that means now.
I went out on a date with my husband Friday night to an 80's VJ night. We got a really nice room so we didn't have to worry about driving. The next day we had a wonderful breakfast and went to see Iron Man II before picking Lauren up.
It was such a blast. I hadn't danced like that in so long. All the music was 80's dance music and everyone knew and sang all the words. It is so funny how you can just dance in a group of total strangers and everyone will smile and laugh and no one cares that you don't know each other.
My husband kept getting too hot and walking off to go cool down but I didn't want to stop dancing because it is such a rare opportunity for us to get out. I kept sneaking back out by myself. At one point he got pissed and I just told him - "look, you only live once and I don't get out that often so I am going to make the most of it and I don't give a shit if you are hot. I will just go dance until you come back." It worked out fine that way. I never would have done that when I was younger.
I did blow my diet but I didn't care. I'm back on track.
An Unfortunate Event: apparently my mom saw my blog. In her opinion it was intentional. She doesn't understand how the URL address bar and cookies works. She thought I left it on her computer to purposely hurt her. My sister, brother, father and niece all explained how the address just stays there after you have been on the website- she didn't listen and didn't care. She was going to grill my niece about it so I called her to own it. It is my blog and I didn't want her grilling my niece. I managed to block my blog before she read all the posts. She only saw the last couple.
On the phone she just screamed a long hysterical tirade of mean nasty words, I caught "you finagling little bitch, how dare you come to my house and leave that up on my computer, I'm done with you, don't you ever come over here again", blah, blah. Apparently she had been obsessing about the clean up of hoarding downstairs also and I was told that she blamed it on me and thought I was the one who planned it. So the blog didn't help nor did the fact that we booked a vacation rental for when my sister comes to visit without consulting her. The sad thing is we were going to take her on a mother daughter spa day when we were there.
So I have been mulling over the years of verbal, mental and physical abuse from her. I realise I am just done. After your entire family has an intervention with you and asks you to get help - and you won't - there isn't much left. (Going to counseling for a few appointments and not owning your own crap doesn't count. )
There is a limit. I just reached mine. It's funny her counselor said the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. I understand what that means now.
