One Mom's Personal Journey...Back To Herself!

R1 VLCD 1,723 (feels like it) 161 lbs and holding
All is well. Little missy is sitting at the kitchen table eating fruit flavored lip gloss (2 tubes simultaneously) and I am parked in front of the fireplace. I am on injection 39 today and VLCD is actually 45 I think. I didn't lose much last week since TOM was here and I was focused on helping dad.

I cheated and had Chinese take out on Sunday during our last push to get things done. Also threw a few hand fulls of choco chips in my face as I was running up and down the stairs. I have a slight recollection of pink champagne and maybe even a margarita my dad whipped out. I'm sure there was more.

I spiked up 2 lbs for a day and then back down on Tuesday. I didn't bother with an apple day- blech!. I have a few injections left and I think I am just going to finish them and be done by Monday. I don't think it will hurt to go over a few days. I am hoping to dump a couple more pounds before I am done so I can finish in the 150's.

Mommy Dearest returned home and it didn't get too ugly. Just the usual verbal abuse and insanity. I spoke with my dad right after that and he survived it. We were all scared to death for him! I'm still trying to center myself and deal with the avalanche of negative emotions. Shake it off!
R1 VLCD 27 165.4 (-.6) Hitchcock, Filet Mignon and Merlot!
Yea, I'm off my plateau! Yippy skippy! This is how I broke it- I thought about what I ate less of, steak! So I went to the store and bought some Filet Mignon (in the meat clearance section, tee hee!). I had that for lunch. On a girls night out I went to a great play, "The 39 Steps". A comedy/thriller based on an Alfred Hitchcock production. I had a planned cheat and drank a glass of Merlot! Oh man was that good! I went to bed late and my little darling woke me up early. So I was short on sleep too!

All joking aside, this diet teaches you to listen more closely to your body. Honestly I think I was just ovulating. Unfortunately, I stalled for a week but the physical signs of ovulation were there. Also, one of the side effects I experience is my sides hurt during rapid weight loss. That symptom went away but just returned yesterday. I attribute it to the maternity related gallbladder issues over this last year. (Diagnostics verified I do not have stones.) I want to disclose this side effect because I think it is important to be honest about the diet. Gallbladder issues encouraged me to "go organic" and as I stated before the benefits of hCG outweigh the risks, for me.

So here is my advice, stick to the protocol and wait it out. Don't cheat or it will make you gain weight and it will take another week to get that off and start again. Hind sight is 20/20 and I could have done without the apple day.

Most of all, thanks to Kelly and all of you for your support. I am so excited that I have some new blogger friends! I saw your comments on Kelly's blog. Not sure why people can't leave comments on mine. I went to the "help" section and it said to change settings to "pop up" so maybe that will help! ;)
R1 VLCD 26 166 - Stalling worse than our old Buick Riviera! !&%$#@!
At this point thoughts are entering my mind about making this a short round and calling it good. Today is my 23 injection. I'm not giving up yet and I will see how it goes. I planned my food for today and dropped the toasts and my second fruit. Hopefully that will get things going again since I skipped my injection yesterday. We shall see, I know better than to give up and cheat.
R1 VLCD 24 166.2 (-.2) I Learned 3 Things...
Today I have gleaned 3 morsels of wisdom from my existence. 1. Apple days suck! 2. During ovulation your pituitary gland secretes a hormone called "luteinizing hormone" approx on days 12 - 16 of your cycle. 3. My face smells like the car wash.

I did an apple day yesterday and I only lost -.2 from that. NOT WORTH IT! So I did some reading and found out about the aforementioned hormone. I'm banking on this excuse for my stall. Or else it is the organic face cream I have been using that has rosemary oil in it - otherwise known as "essence of car wash".

My daughter sits on the counter while I am getting ready and wanted to try my face cream. After smearing a little on her rosy cherub cheeks she exclaimed, "smells like car wash mommy". It was just a coincidence that we also washed the car yesterday. At the exit of the car wash I inhaled deeply with intention. I'll be damned if it didn't smell like my face cream. Doh!
R1 VLCD 23 166.4 (-1.0) Apple Day
I had a busy weekend and I didn't see too much loss over the last few days so I decided to do an apple day today. I just wanted a break from thinking about it. I know ovulation might contribute to the stall too. Anyway I'm trying it. It is tough. I just made my daughter "potato letters" that I get at Whole Foods and I had such a hard time not snarfing them up. Especially when the hot blast of french fry smell hit my face when I took them out of the oven. Ahhhh, I miss potatoes.
R1 VLCD 19 167.4 (-1.0) Why hCG?
I have lost 30 lbs since I began losing weight last April at 198.2 lbs and a BMI of 34 - OBESE! I still have my Weight Watchers weigh in book with all the stickers to reflect back upon. It is a great program, of course, hCG is much easier to lose weight on.

I talked to a friend yesterday about the hCG diet protocol. He sent me e-mails with attachments listing side effects, etc. Did he really think I didn't thoroughly investigate the risks before doing it? Silly!  Honestly, it isn't the first negative reaction I have encountered when disclosing the information about this diet. I respect others rights to draw informed conclusions and express their own opinions.

To me the long term benefits outweighed the short term possible side effects. I considered the fact that I would be on hCG short term. Hypothetically, 1 long round and then 1 short round if needed. (I also read that the serious side effects are more probable at the higher dosage of approximately 10,000iu to 20,000iu per injection, used for infertility.)

Ironic, most of us are killing ourselves little by little, day after day. The typical American diet is high in calories,  refined carbohydrates, saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium containing hormones, pesticides, chemicals, High Fructose Corn Syrup and BPA's. Our lifestyles are high in stress and low in physical activity and sleep.

I consider this- according to the CDC more than 66% of Americans are overweight with a BMI of greater than 25%. Four of the ten leading causes of death in the U.S., including the top 3, can be influenced by diet and being overweight: coronary heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes.

In one round of hCG I will be at or closer to a projected BMI of around 25%. In other words, I will no longer be within the BMI overweight and obesity ranges. I will prolong my life and be at a lower risk for coronary heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes. After completion of the protocol, healthier dietary and sleep habits will be further ingrained. Exercising will be easier without the extra 50lbs I was carrying. As an added bonus I will look and feel great. I will be able to keep up with my 2 year old! I will be ready for bathing suit season! (Maybe I will enjoy bathing suit shopping this year? Ok- don't get carried away.)

Helloooooo, it's a no brainer! (For me)
R1 VLCD 18 168.4 (-.8) Sir Humps A Lot!
Slowly but surely I am losing more weight. Besides the scale, here are some Milfesque indications:
  • Shoes, rings, belts are getting flappier
  • Ass crack is getting draftier (sorry for the plumbers butt!)
  • Muffin top is less muffinish
  • Husband is more humpy (Dry humping me more. Why do guys do that? Thanks honey I'll take that as a compliment!)
Speaking of muffins (nice segue, huh?)...confession time-  I cheated a little yesterday and ate a gluten free dairy free mini banana chocolate chip muffin that I baked with my daughter. It didn't seem to throw me but maybe because we make them with agave and brown rice flour, flax, etc. I haven't started my treadmill. It is still tucked in the corner, all folded up and silently stalking me!
R1 VLCD 16 169! (-1.2) Love Yourself Challenge: "Mom the Builder"
"Mom the builder, can she fix it? Mom the builder!" my husband chants with condescension to the tune of Bob the Builder.

Family household projects are the best at instigating fights between us. (Second only to cleaning which is one of the issues that has left us on the verge of divorce the last couple of months.) Five minutes prior,  my husband had cut a piece of poplar trim 1/4" too short. He wanted to use it anyway, I didn't. I will walk by and stare at it every day. It will bug me.

"If you think you can do a better job then do it yourself!" My husband snarls.

Thanks to my father, this is one of the reasons why I love myself: I grab a piece of wood trim, measure and mark it, take the two flights of stairs down to the garage (husband and babe in tow). I approach the miter saw and.....grasping the handle on the swing arm without hesitation, I pull the switch, the steel blade kicks on and lets out a high pitch whine. I lower the arm down, blade ripping and saw dust flying. I proudly cut a 45 degree angle on one end of the trim then barely shave the corner off the other end- just to make it look pretty. (More condescending chanting)

I march back upstairs. Check the trim piece for fit...PERFECTION!!!!!  I shoot my husband a darting and haughty look, grab the nail gun, pull the trigger and nail the trim into place.

This scene isn't unusual between us. In the past he has also chanted "Herculese, Herculese" while I performed manual labor. It used to make me feel belittled and embarassed. At some point I decided that I was going to feel proud and empowered instead.

I am so glad that I was raised by a loving and supportive father that taught me girls can use power tools, ride motorcycles, etc. I also got my passion for cooking and music from him.

Later that night, laying in bed in the dark, my little co-sleeper pops up and grasps my face in her tiny hands. She chants, "Mom the builder, can we fix it?" Her nose is pressed to mine and I get a whiff of her sweet breath.... followed by a puff of A&D ointment from billowing blankets. "Yes we can!" I exclaim.