I am still on protocol and hanging in there. Losses have been slow since I cheated right away. After recovering from the cheat I stalled due to ovulation. As soon as I was over that I went to the orthodontist.
I had started on invisalign braces a few years ago but once I was pregnant I fell off the wagon. I beat myself up about it almost every day. Just like a diet, I kept telling myself "I will start on Monday". After I had the baby I kept trying to start over but never stuck with it. I was so exhausted and so overwhelmed I didn't have the self discipline to stick with it.
Fast forward 2.5 years and in consultation the orthodontist informed me that they disposed of my invisalign trays. It would cost $1500 to replace them or $800 to get regular braces. (They had already been paid $6500) I had a very emotionally loaded decision to make.
This issue was on a list of issues my husband authored back in December - reasons why he was so angry at me. I have been focusing on myself (avoiding falling into a co-dependent abyss) and stuffing my emotions towards him since then because I didn't want to "fix" him and he didn't want to own his own crap.
In January we discussed and agreed that we would go to counseling (counselor of his choice and he would go in first since he was so incredibly angry). He has been dragging his feet and has only gone twice since January. I have been to one appt. I think over time his anger has subsided but we are left with resentments and unresolved issues.
Anyhoo, things really came to a head this week due to the impending orthodontist decision. I told him it was difficult for me because I was so offended that he was basically complaining about my "face". Once I got started I didn't stop, I just took the last six months of emotions and let him have it. Not in an out of control way but in a "this is where we are at" way and confronted him about dragging his feet on counseling and not owning his own shit. He said he wasn't even sure he wanted to go....I spun on my heel and left heading towards the orthodontist. I just didn't care to respond.
I chose braces. Shorter treatment plan of a year and I know this time I won't be able to fall off the wagon. I'm not thrilled about it but it was the best decision for me at the time. Braces are important to me and on a list of goals that I had for myself. I am happy to be back on track so I don't have to beat myself up over it anymore. I feel a sense of relief about it, and about letting my husband know where I am at emotionally and in our relationship.
That night, on a family shopping trip to the grocery store, they were playing in the reading glasses section. I picked out the most atrocious pair of black horn rimmed glasses I could find, flashed my husband an Ugly Betty style smile, and said "do I make you horny baby?". His face read a combination of shock and utter disbelief. I laughed hysterically and thought to myself "fine - no fellatio for a year!"
I was very careful not to turn to food to soothe my negative emotions this week. I spent a lot of time on the phone with my girlfriends (who think I look adorable in braces). I finally broke into new territory today and lost a new pound! Yea :(#)
I had started on invisalign braces a few years ago but once I was pregnant I fell off the wagon. I beat myself up about it almost every day. Just like a diet, I kept telling myself "I will start on Monday". After I had the baby I kept trying to start over but never stuck with it. I was so exhausted and so overwhelmed I didn't have the self discipline to stick with it.
Fast forward 2.5 years and in consultation the orthodontist informed me that they disposed of my invisalign trays. It would cost $1500 to replace them or $800 to get regular braces. (They had already been paid $6500) I had a very emotionally loaded decision to make.
This issue was on a list of issues my husband authored back in December - reasons why he was so angry at me. I have been focusing on myself (avoiding falling into a co-dependent abyss) and stuffing my emotions towards him since then because I didn't want to "fix" him and he didn't want to own his own crap.
In January we discussed and agreed that we would go to counseling (counselor of his choice and he would go in first since he was so incredibly angry). He has been dragging his feet and has only gone twice since January. I have been to one appt. I think over time his anger has subsided but we are left with resentments and unresolved issues.
Anyhoo, things really came to a head this week due to the impending orthodontist decision. I told him it was difficult for me because I was so offended that he was basically complaining about my "face". Once I got started I didn't stop, I just took the last six months of emotions and let him have it. Not in an out of control way but in a "this is where we are at" way and confronted him about dragging his feet on counseling and not owning his own shit. He said he wasn't even sure he wanted to go....I spun on my heel and left heading towards the orthodontist. I just didn't care to respond.
I chose braces. Shorter treatment plan of a year and I know this time I won't be able to fall off the wagon. I'm not thrilled about it but it was the best decision for me at the time. Braces are important to me and on a list of goals that I had for myself. I am happy to be back on track so I don't have to beat myself up over it anymore. I feel a sense of relief about it, and about letting my husband know where I am at emotionally and in our relationship.
That night, on a family shopping trip to the grocery store, they were playing in the reading glasses section. I picked out the most atrocious pair of black horn rimmed glasses I could find, flashed my husband an Ugly Betty style smile, and said "do I make you horny baby?". His face read a combination of shock and utter disbelief. I laughed hysterically and thought to myself "fine - no fellatio for a year!"
I was very careful not to turn to food to soothe my negative emotions this week. I spent a lot of time on the phone with my girlfriends (who think I look adorable in braces). I finally broke into new territory today and lost a new pound! Yea :(#)
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You are so frickin hillarious - I love it!
I have the same way of confronting my ofther half now - it's not in an out of control way but more of a way of facing realiy and knowing I have the choice to deal with him rationally. The same bullshit is still there but my reactions are different.
From your last pics that you posted you look absolutely fabulous so the braces will make no difference to your appearance.
Stay strong on the protocol and carry on. It's about you now.
Your post today had me laughing out loud! Good for you, and I'm so glad that you moved forward with the braces. For YOU. This year will fly by, and you'll have a gorgeous smile to show for it! Plus a lovely new shape!
I let my dh 'have it' periodically too. I always feel guilty afterwards, but it clears the air, he knows he's wrong, and I don't want to walk around with all this pent up emotion, him thinking everything's hunky dory with us.
many hugs to you-
I'm also glad you chose the braces. Why the hell not. You're an at home mom? With one child right? I don't think you realize how much stress it is to me a domestic engineer. Baby sitting both a child and a man! It's tough. You're doing an awesome job.
I'm also in need of braces and keep having dreams my teeth are falling out! I'll probably get them on later on this year. Keep us updated. Take pictures! :))
Thanks guys! Meli I also dream my teeth are falling out :) Must be anxiety...